kill me
Thursday, May 03, 2007 | 5/03/2007 11:38:00 AM
Don feel too good..
Feel like crying..
What if they gamble again..
What if next time they say they don wan to pay for the monthly rental fee..
What if they ask money from me..
What if we cannot get along...
What if we cannot afford to pay the monthly rental fee..
What if they start to rely on me to pay for this and that...
What if they stop working..
What if they keep spending money like theres no tomoro???
What if....
What if...
FUCK!!
Why?? why people so happy but i feel so sad...I rather give up the 2k rather then ME ending up paying 330 bucks every month from the CPF and yet have to take out cash too??!!
Its not like i wanted a house now..ITs for THEM!!! FOR THEM!!! Why must i experience this type of things?! Am i taken advantage of? I AM! We move house because they wanted money NOT that i insisted in moving!! WTF! What can i do now...HE don wan to listen to me..I AM NOT READY FOR FINANCIAL BURDEN...His parents should be the one paying for the flat for the whole 5 years! Why they can pay for the house for 1 year then the remaining 4 years me n him have to slog for life to take care of them...Does that mean after that 1 year i can chase them out??
Argh....
I don koe what to say...Am i ready? Am i ready to put HEs family's burden on my shoulder? Am i willing to slog for life? Can i afford to go on holiday? Can i buy what i want to buy? Should i take the risk? The risk of them not paying for the monthly rental, gambling debts and all sorts of rubbish and leaving us to die with stacks of debts...
My guy wants to take care of his parents but im reluctant..I will not be a good daughter in law.. if we really move into the house i must be prepared to lock myself in my room..
I am very tired..Im not happy...
Should i????
